As I Break I Grow and I Thank You (a goodbye letter)

Every time I see you, your everything lands on me as strong as when a sea wave crashes unto shore. And when you leave, the power of our encounter fading, and my heart eventually breaking again, I instinctively - ferociously even - transform what’s breaking me into something new.

Pulling myself together requires new tactics, new adjustments and ways of being. And that’s as beautiful as it is painful.Because the more I change and the more I grow, the more I fear I may turn into a stranger to you. To the point where the wave that may visit again might no longer find me recognizable.

But if that ever happens and before you leave again always know: that reinvention is the price I’ve paid for our impossible love, or the gift perhaps born out of the beauty of whatever magic has been between us.

For that I’m eternally grateful.

Though I may seem different next time we cross paths, the one who loved you, loves you still, from that first kiss - and even before - until the very end.

(February 2025)